SPM fever

I should have focused on Sejarah and try my very best to memorize every word instead of sitting in front of computer when SPM is just what,8 days away?But duh,just trying to relax myself la.

The post-SPM life has been in my mind like since forever and I really can't wait for it to come true.The waking up without worrying what to study and how much to study today is the sweetest part.And the playing everyday is just simply exciting.Well just 1 more month,and the life I've been yearning for will come true!And the most important part is my life sticking to Malaysia education system would be put to an end if I don't have to study Form6 next year,HOPEFULLY.pls pls =.=

To all Form5 students,all the best for SPM. (:

It get harder each day.

C'est la vie?

C'est la vie..

bla.

Need endorphin.

Catalyst to something,inhibitor to something.

Random,again.

I've been watching House season 5 a lot lately,again.And I've been thinking a lot lately,again,which most ppl would acknowledge it as : aiya u think too much and stuff.

When do you get confused over which step is the best step?When do you get sick of deciding which word to say or which reaction to give so that you wont offend other ppl?When do you get tired to try to put your life back to a normal route and keep moving instead of just turning around a circle about a fixed point?When do you get sick of asking when you feel like jus answering?

I guess its when you'd wake up at the middle of the night and wondering how tomorrow could be and who you're gonna be.And then u throw yourself back into sleep to avoid the endless hole in your heart before it haunt you and make your night sleepless.

Its a random post,and well,I think too much.

发现

以为自己很坚强，

其实自己才是最脆弱的那一个。





谢谢你，让我明白我的懦弱。

voice,sound.

Im so into Leigh Nash song now.

truly soothing voice,amazing song.

the whole Blue On Blue album is jus so nice.

And i wished for affection
And i wished for calm.

Nervous in the light of dawn
Leigh Nash

Not As We-Alanis Morissette

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain
Unsure, unconvincing
this faint and shaky hour

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m pseudo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Gun-shy and quivering
Timid without a hint
Feign brave with steel intent
Little and hardly here

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
With not much making sense
Just yet I’m faking it
’til I’m pseudo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”

Eyes wet,
Toward wide open frayed
If God is taking bias,
I pray he wants to lose

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I’m barely making sense
Just yet I’m faking it
‘Til I’m pseudo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as “I”
And not as “we”



guess im stupid.
i hate myself.
im drowning,again.
忽冷忽热

sunday

Its been long since i last post a proper n word-riching post.n im not gonna do it nw oso.mayb jus a bit longer post den those earlier.Some big things happened lately.

Sis went to Sarawak to further her study,taking medical course.She went dey on last Friday by Air Asia-1hour30minutes-fly(tho i don think its det on-time,anything can happen in Msia,u kno).And im missing her,lot.She is oways a great sis to me,who kno me e most,who tok wif me e most in e family,who oways dey wif me when im in trouble.And i love her lot,so do her.hope she is doing well dey,n can adapt to e new environment well.

Michael Jackson,King of Pop of all time passed away.He may be a freak,a weird ppl,but he is oways one of e greatest singer & dancer.He is e first black-man who were able to get in to e mainstream of music industry,and first black-man who made e MV of black ppl to be able to show on channel MTV.I love his music,his dancing.No ppl can forget his music.n his moonwalk,e way he stand on his toes,e way he lean his body forward.Its a great loss,to e world,n to everyone who love his music.Hail to Michael Jackson.


Hmm im reali addicted on House M.D n am watching season four of it now wif e rate of at least 3episodes a day.N tell me pls where can i find e dvd of Before Sunset & Before Sunrise.am desperate for it.

Ow ow n i kena PLKN,wad the hell..Hate the word Tahniah on e replied msg,n e Selamat Maju Jaya on e website.damn unlucky.

Got to go for dinner.byebye.

Music playing: Patience-Guns N' Roses

im only human.

still not fine,still fragile,as always.

qwerty.

hot n cold.

im tired.

more music pls.

blog next time.

music playing:
Will You Be There- Michael Jackson

not fine,n fragile.

friday night

living in pain.

gudnite.

C'est la vie

消逝了，
远走了。

两句话，
一种念头，
一种心情。

gone.

其实很累。

Mid-year

Exam finally over,i think dets wad every Form5-ers saying now.But it don't seem so exiciting n relaxing when thinking of det dey is still 4weeks of trial exam n 4 weeks of SPM waiting ahead.gosh.

But But But,dey is at least 2 weeks of holidays to let everyone wake up late n doing nothing d whole day.ow man don mention me e stupid Ulangkaji jadual det sch give.

Going for Undang Test during hols,n starting on car driving lesson during hols as well.cant wait to drive.cant wait for e feeling of driving-on-road wif music-filling-the-car n no one will nag u for det.

Okay bye.


你啊，
还自己一片追逐的草原，
给自己一段洁白的心事吧。
太烦忧，太纷扰，
不如放逐于静默间，
去学会，
放开..

电影

突然很想打些什么字。

在听着 Sixpence None The Richer 的歌。

在想着不断在我脑中重复的一部电视剧的台词：“我就快死了，妈。”
（忘了那部戏的名字）

语调很平淡，我想我听得见那其中藏着的太多无奈，
还有很深的解放的感觉。

在想着一些电影。 Seven Pound 和 Revolutionary Road 里
脆弱得叫人软弱的生命
沉重得叫人窒息的生命。

The Accuracy of Death 和 Pursuit of Happiness 里
豁达的生命观
千年一次的太阳
让人看见美好。

很喜欢很喜欢电影。
留恋电影中轻缓留过的情感，
及似真似假的时光。

却只看过太少太少的电影。
错过了太多，所以会想要寻回。
有很多很多很多想看的电影。
希望能找到它们的DVD。

现在最想看
Before Sunset
Before Sunrise
Departure （殉葬师）
Broken Embraces

好想去康成影展。

six.

Waking up n doing nothing.

Sejarah waiting ahead.argh.

Morning filled wif voices & songs of Sixpence None The Richer.

All e best to everyone who sitting for mid-year exam. =)

去吧

那道界限以后的景象，只能去幻想，却不能拥有。
所以黑夜的幽暗与梦的真实感
能将灵魂完美豢养。

也许你说得对，
不该去期待的。
也许另一个你说得对，
不该太过看重与执著。
可是，说时容易，做时难。

所以啊，
请给我逃往的旅程。
途中的驿站，是已在心中矗立的向往。
也许，逃往的旅程，
就是驿站。

路口

也许有天我拥有满天太阳
却一样在幽暗的夜里醒来


陈升
《路口》

short update.

Halo ppl.hmm dis week quite busy.filled wif alot of things n activity n oso,tuition =.=

N went to hui mei's bday party last Saturday.hmm it was quite nice.sry for no picture to post up,cos i don hav a camera. =X n im too lazy to take photo from other ppl blog den post up here =.=

N i finally finish undang class d,after months of planning to take it.haha.

Hav been woke up on 6/6.30 a.m continuously for 2 weeks.ow man im exhausted. =.=

N i haven start study for mid-year exam.i think im gonna c my name on e last page last column of ranking paper,again.

Ow man im so in love wif Iron & Wine a.k.a Samuel Beam.his song is jus simply too nice.okay i kno im slow,again. =.=


i miss u,alot.

meaningless post.

I am a fool.

feeling damn bad.

gudnite ppl.

Update

Halo gud morning ppl.so long i nvr post abt wad had happened.okay jus a short review of wad had happened?

1.Debate thing finally over.lose to Foon Yew High Sch Team B in e first round haha.(we actually went to sushi king to celebrate after det =.=)
2.Theif broke in my house.wtfwtfwtf.lost my money n im poor nw.dey broke in by smashing a hole on e ceiling of my bedroom.wtfwtfwtf.i still gt e hole pic in my phone.wtfwtfwtf.
3.Ranking of first test is finally out.n haha no surprise i get number last in my class. =.=
4.Went to Leadership Challenge(or competition?i forgot) at Sunway College ystd.plyed some game n sweating damn lot.n we spent abt 1hour plus on e way to college n e way bac to sch.=.=
5.Finally get to chg to friday chemistry class.thx thx thx sis. =D
6.Me n my sis r so addicted to House now.(okay i kno we r slow) bt damn nice la dis show.n seriously Hugh Laurie quite handsome le.haha.

So things coming up?
1.Sis bday on Monday!!
2.Hui mei's bday party on Saturday.
3.Bm bentang thingy.n me n jeremie hav to sing in front e whole class.wtfwtfwtf.
4.Mid year exam.ow man i dowan to get number last in class again pls pls pls pls. =.=
5.Assignment of det leadership challenge thingy bt i think we guys(me,darren,teoh,pikyang) r not going to do it.hahaha.c first la.

So dets all.byebye.

i miss u,everyday.

OK 与 不OK

最近很不ok。
有太多不敢触碰的情绪与思恋，
但夜深人静时还是特别容易想起，
最近又生病，更加容易沉沦在那些
拼了命逃避的情绪与思恋中。

所以不断的在找事情做，
希望能填补那巨大的失落与伤悲。（我知道那是虚无的）
又不断的运动，以流汗暂时忘记生命中的倦怠。
多希望跑着跑着就忘了，就放开了
可是一切结束后，还是觉得如此沉重。

我希望我能ok,
真的好累。

别对我冷淡，好吗？ =X

张震岳
《OK》
生命之中有多少经历
值得细细回忆
尤其是感情那些刻骨铭心的回忆
好多年都不曾忘记
我们都在寻找真爱
花钱也不能买
但是你问我什么是爱
它没有正确答案
只能凭感觉
在人海里寻找所谓的爱
有人随便玩玩
有人拼了老命在玩
有人一辈子没有伴
过著东奔西跑的日子
来到不熟悉的城市特别容易孤寂
想著挥之不去的问题
尤其面对自己总是没有头绪
感情和个人的平衡点常常失去重心
放手上风一吹就会掉下去
有时却想放弃
摇摇欲坠其实最自私是自己
我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很ok
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok
寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok
走一步算一步
寻寻觅觅当你遇到一个喜欢的人
却不想在一起
也许只想一夜情而已
放了真感情却害怕自由会失去
这世界上只有两种人
男人和女人
每天上演同样的剧情
谁又爱上谁谁又背叛谁谁又伤了谁
乐此不疲的表演好累
但是没有人能够脱离再翻离
谁可以跨越出去
结果因人而异
有的信守终生有的继续等
有的干脆剃度
永远不再过问
这红尘滚滚心中是否沸腾
还有多少时间值得继续等
曲终人散走在陌生的街上
剩我一个人唱
我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很ok
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok
爱情面貌我是不了解
却把自己搞的很狼狈
有一段时间我不ok
把灵魂关在黑暗里面
当然还是有一些小小的痛苦在身边
寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok
寂寞很ok 一个人ok 习惯就ok

雨

当思恋与悲伤相汇成河，

该怎么让每一个日与夜平静渡过？


对不起啊，真的。

或许说出去一会 就再也没回过头
心的闷和孤独 脚还继续走
《一种念头》
Joanna

=X

feeling damn freaking bad now.

feel lyk smash my com,or anything around me.

bad day.

里面下着雨

不知道的生活，
已经如此摇摇欲坠。

不敢面对的情绪，
却在刻意的掩埋中持续发酵。

所以，
关上门就哭泣吧，
合上眼就睡去吧。

明天不过就是，
角落的明天。

可是真的
好想没有明天只有夜晚。

试著体会 试著忍住眼泪

还是躲不开应该有的情绪
张震岳&蔡健雅
《思恋是一种病》

音乐与梦

Have you ever---Westlife


Yes I have.And im having.




给我夜晚，音乐，与
梦。
让逃往进行，让倦怠休息。

手掌留住了风，
握不住一粒沙。
《手的预言》
陈绮贞

音乐

很累。

深沉的。

想来一次出走，从生活中。

想给自己一个逃往，从生命中。




张震岳的歌真的很好听，陈绮贞的歌也是。

Bad post.

Halo.never update blog for quite a long time ady. =.=

Exam came,exam passed.And as usual i did last minute work,which i ended up to slp abt 3-4 hours per day only.But,but,but,its over now.But,but,but i still can't relax cos of sth else det coming.Btw,do damn bad in dis test.But,but,but,don kno la,don care. =(

So i went to watched my sch basketball team friendly match wif SAB on last saturday.nice match,nice ply,nice score.den went to tuition wif Edy n Jordan.was extremely tired n slp off in tuition.

Nth much to post.my blog is and always dull n boring.im bad in all these thinking bac wad happened,figuring,typing,n posting. lol sry bout det.

feeling damn bad. =X

想说。

有很多很多话想说。

可是又有谁愿意聆听。

又有谁能告诉我，

该如何平静的渡过这一切。

总是要学着遗忘，学着疗伤
总要跌跌撞撞，才找到答案
《公路》
张震岳

question mark.

Gt nth to do so come and post an random post. =.=

Hmm was quite tired dis week.seriously omost all week oso omost e same,keep stay bac after sch for sport,tuition,outing n alot other things.Ow n i went Hari Sukan on yesterday,last year in sch d so feel lyk go watch.Hmm its quite nice.

Ow n En Rosland has been sacked by Omega,En Rahman as well.Den e teacher who takeover En Rosland place is En Radzi,n i don reali lyk e way he teach.Starting 5minutes of the lesson i feel lyk slping ady.Will try to find Rosland tuition class or find a new teacher.argh =X

Ow man first test coming,i haven read anything.gonna do reali bad in first test. =X

Quite alot bad things happened.im tired.

最近迷上了张震岳和陈升的歌,
歌词总在敲击着我的心深处，
很感触。

游走在梦的尽头，也常常不时回首
人与人擦身交错，谁停留谁又远走
《回到过去》
张震岳&林芯仪

我好想你。

苏打绿

我们都必须成长，

都必须明白，太多事情并不是想象中的美好。

太多事情，能让人在夜里散落一地的落寞与心伤。

最近常在半夜沉睡中惊醒，然后随之而来的是很深的失落，
与长长一夜的惆怅。

很累很累。

然后，想说的是，

Happy Birthday Hui Zhi! =D

这段日子是否，沉睡中忽然哭醒过来。
太多意外，会让人害怕看未来。
苏打绿，《是我的海》

tiltled.

今天情人节。还有一个小时就过去了。

刚刚重看了如果。爱

感触很深，很深。

我有太多东西不想失去。我有太多东西失去。

那逝去的时光，人与事，让我半夜惊醒时会觉得好感慨。

而我没有意识到的是，我在笑着时会有想哭的冲动。

很累很累。

特别在午夜醒来 更是 会感慨
张学友，《如果。爱》

纪事

发生了好多事。
我的心很痛。我的泪在流。
我从来没想过我会又一次被逼去适应这种我曾经很熟悉的感受。
那时候的时光很美好，是我所怀恋的。
现在的感觉很熟悉，是我所惧怕的。
我该如何去赶走，每个时刻里的哀愁，
我该如何去欢笑，当心里的疲惫在作祟，
我该如何去安睡，当哀愁如潮水般涨浮。

我以为那些日久堆叠的疲惫与失落已成为我生命中的过往，
我却在这时间点上重拾这一切，和很多新的低沉纪事。
我朝这一切呐喊，却得到可怕的沉默。
我明白，我是一个烂人。没有资格也不配拥有这一切。
昨日的绮丽，明日的灿烂，不过是一种梦想。

我会用笑容去装饰明天的脸庞。
但请忽视我不经意流露的伤悲。


byebye.

untitled 2

Hmm quite a few days din update ady.Okay so im here to announce im uncle ady!!haha.my sister-in-law gave birth on e past Friday n e baby name is Lim Hong En.too bad i don hav picture in my computer now,but blive me,he is jus simply too cuteeeee. =D


Den today went out wif Joe n Hockie.watched Changeling.a v v v nice movie.go watch it or u will regret.One of e best movie i hav watched so far.

有太多的不明白，太多的来不及与错过。
然后等一切沉淀后，就变成了过重的无奈和，
那在夜里，总让人心慌的失落。
最后我明白，我真的什么都不是。
我想拥抱的生命不是我的明天。
而我的明天又在哪里？

昙花在夜里绽放 静静地像在诉说
　　在夜里忽然想起了什么
　　当我们必需遗忘 习惯於宿命过往
　　生命就不再是恍忽年少
陈升，《路口》。

random post.

Hmm dis 2day kinda busy.stay bac after sch for pusingan kelayakan.First day of it i run,second day i din.lol den second day i jus sit dey only n watch dey run den get attendance ady.

Last saturday is Johnathon bday party.hmm its nice.n the show house even nicer.lol.ply game n ply water on his bday party.n uh nice bday present John get ah.hahaha.

2mr got tuition at Omega.hope get to ply basketball before det.hope will feel betta 2mr ba.

byebye n gudnite.

When i turn out all the lights,even the night,
it only reminds me of you.
MYMP,Only reminds me of you.

untitled

我真的不明白。




对不起。 =X


Did i disappoint u or let u down,
Should i be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
-James Blunt,Goodbye My Lover

MUSIC

-Pat Benatar
-MYMP
-Chicago
-The Carpenters
-Bee Gees
-Bette Midler
-Wham
-James Blunt
-Sixpence None The Richer
-苏打绿

I nid all this oldie song(tho some r not) as im freaking ____ now. =X



Cut my feelings to the bone - Pet Benatar,We belong

Happy Chinese New Year

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE =)

Hmm so i jus start dis post wif happy chinese new year to everyone?

Well i came bac from Muar on tuesday nite.den det nite my bro n sister-in-law bring me to tepian tebrau for dinner,nasi beriani was nice.n u kno wad,im gonna b uncle in 2weeks time.ahaha =D my sister-in-law is going to giv birth on next week or next next week. =)

So hmm did nth much during CNY.ow yea i haven touch my homework as well.den go CS today wif fren.watched Bride Wars.not bad movie.


uh i gt alot movie wan to watch in list.

1.Seven Pounds
2.Valkyrie
3.The curious case of Benjamin Button
4.Changeling
5.Slumdog Millionare

so hmm i'll stop here.byebye.

am feeling extremely down. =X

你在那里？

开始又觉得悲伤。

我想每一个人都该有个过渡期。去放开怀抱，原谅并接受自己。

只是，没人告诉我过渡期有多久？

我不知道该如何去妥协。

要新年了。有点小期待。至少新年的夜晚不会有那些心事在心底泛滥。

=)

YEA.

Its been 2weeks after sch reopened.hmm dis year so far not bad seh.Thx God. =)

I stay bac after sch tues-saturday.Basketball,movie,tuition,all come together,though its tiring,bt im enjoy it.love those nice moment.

Ow n Australia is v v v nice.thx yae gudddie =D.

Bt stay bac so many days,i v poor ady =(.Only left a single lonely RM5 note in my wallet. =(

Chinese new year coming.hmm hope everyone hav fun.n enjoy.

Off to homework now.byebye. =)

sch reopen,rather late post.

Argh.so long i nvr update blog ady.

Sch reopened.damn boring la,everyday homework homework.HOMEWORK IS KILLING ME. =(

Den alot tuition summore.TUITION IS KILLING ME. =( ow but luckily joe join bm tuition. n Rosland is indeed a gud teacher.en en.

nth much to say.im stupid in finding words n form a article den type it out.

Hmm its a gud year so far despite e homework.

Basketball 2mr.hope i can don stay bac for temenggung practice but i cant. =( jus as if i gt a car license den things will solved so easily.GRR. Australia dream come true! thx guddie.lol. =)

I say love,it is a flower,n ur the only seeds. -Betta Midler,The Rose.

没啊.

又有谁知道你背后的故事？

只有一些睥睨低视的不屑，

和一些不肯谅解的回绝。



我是烂人。

How i wish i could surrender my soul. Tears and Rain-James Blunt